


Behind Closed Doors

by chasingwonder (cumbercrieff)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-15
Updated: 2013-02-15
Packaged: 2017-11-29 08:05:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/684703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cumbercrieff/pseuds/chasingwonder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You and Harry have finally gone public but as expected, you receive some unwanted Twitter messages.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Behind Closed Doors

**Author's Note:**

> I may post a chapter two with some diirty stuff - its the best part of a fic lets be honest!

Tears were streaming down my face as my eyes scanned the screen of my laptop. I sat on Harry's bed reading through my twitter time line. I knew it was a bad idea, the boys had said to both me and Harry to be careful about going public but for us all that mattered was being able to be honest for the first time in a long time. No more publicity stunts and fake friendships – just being us. The real us. I had really believed that maybe we would be fine - until today, when the first photos of us out publicly as a couple together were released to the press. I knew the abuse was from silly young girls who didn't know any better, they hated me because Harry loved me, but it didn't make it any easier. I scrolled through each of the comments sent to me, most of them silly things like that I was ugly, fat and a loser, but some of them really cut close to home. 

“Go kill yourself you stupid bitch”  
“you fucking ugly slag you don’t deserve harry u bitch”  
“just die and let harry be happy”  
“he doesn’t love you”  
“like harry could fucking love you you ugly bitch”  
“ew your so fat harry could never want you”  
“stop stalking harry he doesn’t want you”

He doesn't want me. After a few hours of reading through the messages I had started believing it. I was ugly. Why the hell did Harry want to be with me? Was he trying to embarrass me?! Did he want me to get hurt like this..?! That's when I started to cry. Sobbing uncontrollably until my phone started to ring. I glanced down and saw Ed's name flashing up. I picked it up unable to actually speak.  
“...”  
“Hello!? (y/n)?! Are you okay!? Whats wrong!!??”  
“Ed.. I.. I'm fine!”  
“I can hear you crying! Whats wrong? Did you and Harry have a fight? Do you want me to come over??”  
Ed and I had been friends for a long time. I'd first met him busking on the streets of London, he'd saw me and joined in and kept in touch all throughout his climbing the fame ladder. When he'd got close to the boys he'd introduced me as his best friend – thats when I'd met Harry.   
“No.. it's just.. I.. I was on twitter and the photos of me and Harry were in the paper and now everybody hates me and-”  
I started crying again. Heart-achingly loud sobs escaping my mouth unable to keep the pain in.  
“I'll phone Harry he'll kn-”  
“No! Don't! I don't want to worry him it's fine..”  
“(y/n) are you joking?! He'll want to know you're okay! He would kill me if I didn't tell him how upset you were!”  
“He won't care..”   
I said it without thinking, all the twitter messages had got me thinking .. Why was Harry even with me..? How COULD he love me? I was fat. I wasn't a size 8, I wasn't even a size 12. I was ugly, I didn't even look half presentable with make-up on. I was weird and awkward. I didn't know how to deal with people. I liked video-games. I liked to sit around in my pants and eat. I would sit for ours on the internet or crying over television shows. I wasn't a 'Harry Styles' girl. Who the hell was I kidding?! How the hell did I manage to last as long with him without him seeing who I was..  
Ed paused for a second while my thoughts raced, obviously shocked by what I'd said.  
“Are you kidding..?! He's fucking madly in love with you, you idiot!” He laughed a bit at my idiocy. “(y/n) he.. I really shouldn't be telling you this but if it'll help.. He's been in love with you for a LONG time. Longer than you know. The amount of times he would bitch to us about how he wanted to be with you, how he was to scared to say anything to you. God he wouldn't shut up about you.. I mean I love you, you're my best friend but you really aren't all that (y/n).”  
“Oh thanks Ed..”  
“You know what I mean dork!.. But to Harry, you're the whole world. And I AM calling him. So pretty yourself up if you want but I'm letting him know.”  
“Fine.”  
“(y/n)...”  
I heard his voice whisper as I hung up.  
I sat still for 5 minutes before I pulled myself together, hearing Ed's voice had helped a bit, but I prayed he wouldn't actually tell Harry. I looked in the mirror and fixed my make-up, suddenly sickened at the sight I saw. I moved to the full-length mirror pulling my top up to reveal my stomach, just as I hear keys in the door. Harry was home. I quickly grabbed my laptop and hid it under the bed and ran to the door attempting to look like I was casually walking through to the front room. Harry sensed the movement and turned to look at me, his eyes bright and his smile heartfelt.  
“Well hello there, (y/n), you look ravishing tonight!”  
“Hey..”  
I tried to sound enthusiastic but Harry still frowned.  
“Hey.. You okay?”  
He moved towards him attempting to close to space between us but I took a step back subconsciously needing to get away from him.  
“Yeah, I was just.. in the middle of something.”  
I turned and ran into the room jumping on the sofa pretending to look for something to avoid eye-contact. Harry shuffled around in the hallway, taking off his shoes and jacket. I realised Ed hadn't phoned him. I had to snap out of this quickly. Then suddenly Harry's phone chimed, I heard it and jumped up watching him through the archway between the room and the hall. He dipped his hand into his jeans pocket and answered the call.  
“Hey Ed.. whats up mate?”  
…  
“Yeah, I'm just home I ju-”  
…  
“What..?! No she.. “  
…  
“She never said..”  
He attempted to lower his voice but I had already heard enough to know what was going on.  
“Right, thanks mate.”  
He hung up and put the phone back into his pocket and turned towards the room as I ducked behind the sofa turning on the TV to avoid this conversation I knew that was about to happen.  
Harry strolled into the room, slowly, his face showed he was thinking. Thinking about what to say and how to react. Without a word he sat next to me, he didn't glance at me just sat down eyes transfixed on the screen. I glanced at him, his face full of hurt, I assumed at me. I shouldn't have answered the call from Ed. The tension was too much I had to break it.  
“Ha-”  
“This isn't your fault.”  
His head slowly turned, his gaze still not meeting mine, but rather his eyes fallen to the sofa staring at my hands.  
“This is me. I shouldn't have gone public with this. I should have know. I should have listened to what people told me. I.. I'm so sorry (y/n). I'm a fucking idiot and there’s no going back from this.”  
I stared at him in disbelief. I didn't know what he was telling me.. Thoughts flashed through my mind. Was he admitting he didn't love me? That this was all a joke?! He didn't love me? He knew I was ugly and fat and it was a plan that backfired and now the boys can't laugh about it together?! His eyes finally rose to meet mine for a brief second. Pain in his and anger in mine.  
“I never wanted you to get hurt I just.. When you love someone you don't want to keep it in do you!? I want to shout it out and ..”  
He jumped up off the sofa and ran to the window.  
“Harry.. ?”  
“You want to shout it to the world!”  
He turned back to me his eyes wide and wet, on the verge of tears. The window was yanked open and he stepped onto the balcony of his apartment.  
“YOU WANT TO TELL THE WHOLE WORLD HOW MUCH YOU LOVE SOMEONE! BECAUSE THEY ARE PERFECT! AND THEY COMPLETE YOU!!”  
He screamed into the cold London air as I ran to the window.  
“Harry get back inside it's freezing..”  
“No!” He grabbed my wrist and pulled me out into the wind. He held me at arms length, his hands firmly gripped on my shoulders.  
“(Y/N) I love you. So much and I'm so sorry that.. that those idiots think you aren't as perfect as I know you are. But I will tell you everyday how beautiful you are if that’s what it takes for them to see it to. I'll scream it to the world every second of my life, and then they'll see. They'll see what I see. What you should see. What the world deserves to see.”  
Tears started to fall down Harry’s cheeks and his gaze held mine. I was too shocked and cold to move or express anything. My face motionless but body numb. Harry frowned ever so slightly as he wiped the tears from his face. He could sense the doubt in me. He knew me too well and I could tell.  
“I know you're beautiful and I love you. But I need you to know it to (y/n). I'll tell you everyday but it means nothing unless you believe me. You do trust me right?”  
His hands moved down my arms to my hands and he got onto his knees looking up into my now watery eyes.  
“You believe me don't you? I wouldn't.. I couldn't lie to you. You are the first girl I've ever truly loved. You aren't another bimbo. You aren't another press fantasy. You aren't another shag. You are the one. Do you hear that world?!”  
He jumped up again and let go of my hands, throwing his arms into the air.  
“(Y/N) is the one for me!!!!! THE ONE FOR ME!! AND NO-ONE IS GONNA CHANGE THAT!!”   
He lowered his arms and stood still for a moment with his eyes closed. Taking in everything that had just happened. After a few moments he turned back to me.. expecting something. Anything.  
I knew exactly what to say.  
“That's the first time you've ever said you loved me.”  
Before he could answer me I grabbed him close into a kiss. Our first kiss as an open couple, letting the world see us. His arms wrapped around my body as he tipped me back slightly so we could fall deeper into the kiss. Harry kissed me hard, all his emotion pouring out his tongue flicking mine as he stood in the freezing air for as long as we could both stand it before pulling out of the kiss. He took a step back to take a breath.  
“Wow..”  
He muttered to himself before taking me by the hand and leading me back inside, closing the balcony door behind him, because there was some stuff that needed to be kept behind closed doors.


End file.
